The Rush You Don’t Notice You’re Living In

Most of us don’t set out to live in a constant state of rush.

We just keep moving - because there’s always something to do, someone to care for, something that feels urgent.

But after a while, the pace that once helped you cope becomes the thing that keeps you stuck.

This isn’t about being busy - it’s about what your body has learnt to call normal, and the quiet cost that comes with it.

For years I didn’t see what was really happening.

I wasn’t aware that I was constantly switched on. I just thought that was life. There was always something that needed doing. If the day slowed down, I’d find something to fill it with. But I didn’t realise I was doing that. If work was quiet, I’d spiral. If the kids were talking to me, I’d keep cleaning or moving, like my body couldn’t stop even when I wanted to.

I didn’t think of it as stress. I didn’t understand what stress truly was then. It didn’t feel dramatic or chaotic. It just felt… normal. Necessary. Like being still would somehow make everything fall apart.

But looking back, after hitting burnout and perimenopause, I can see how much of my life was spent in motion - not because I wanted to be, but because I didn’t know any other way to be. My body had become so used to the rush that slowing down felt wrong. It’s strange to realise that what looks like motivation or high standards can actually be a nervous system doing its best to hold things together.

And underneath all of that was something deeper I couldn’t see at the time - a belief that being productive made me valuable. That if I kept everything running, I was doing okay. That rest was something to earn later.

But the body always keeps score.

And the cost of living that way slowly shows up in ways you don’t expect.

• It’s the exhaustion you can’t sleep off

• The brain fog that makes you forget simple things

• The mood swings that seem to come out of nowhere

• The hormonal chaos

• An inibility to lose weight

• The feeling that no matter how much you do, it’s never enough

• The constant hum of tension sitting in your chest or your jaw or your stomach.

You get so used to it that you forget what calm even feels like.

That’s the unseen load - the invisible weight of living in a body that’s never truly at rest.

The shift doesn’t happen in one moment. It happens slowly, in quiet recognitions - when you notice you’re cleaning while someone’s talking to you, you’re not truly listening, or feeling anxious when the day is calm. When you realise your body’s not trying to sabotage your peace; it just doesn’t know what peace feels like yet.

And that’s where the real work begins.

Not in forcing yourself to rest or fixing everything at once, but in teaching your body that stillness isn’t failure — it’s safety.

It’s okay to have nothing urgent to do.
It’s okay to let things wait.
It’s okay to finish a day without rushing to the next thing.

Because you’re still valuable even when you’re not doing.

That’s what I help women remember - how to stop living from the rush and come back to a pace that actually feels like life again.

If this feels familiar, start there. Pause, notice, breathe before you fix.

And when you’re ready to rebuild your rhythm and teach your body what calm truly feels like, that’s exactly what we do inside The Returning 🌿